She is crying still, her face swollen and blotchy. She hasn’t eaten yet. She stumbles from room to room. A sword will pierce your own soul used to mean something. Now it means something new. This new meaning is what was meant all along.
John looks in on her, but she shakes her head. She is not ready to talk. He nods and quietly shuts the door. Finds his brother. He and James look at each other. Each knows what the other is thinking: right hand and left hand. What were we thinking?
Lazarus and his sisters sit around their table without words, thoughts in turmoil. In another room, a servant drops some crockery. Martha turns her head to the sound. Mary sits as stone, unflinching. She thinks, He said He was the resurrection and the life. Now this. Lazarus stares straight ahead, his only thought: Why couldn’t I have stayed dead and He live?
The soldiers stand in ranks. Someone cracks a joke about guarding a dead man. “What’s he gonna do? Walk away?” Laughter.
Nicodemus comes by night, sees the soldiers, stands a little way off. Remembers His words, wondering what He meant by “born again.” Sighs. Perhaps it meant nothing at all.
Pharisees come to see the tomb. “Is it secure?” one asks. “Obviously,” says the other, nodding toward the soldiers. “Good,” says the first. “We don’t want any more nonsense from any Galileans.” The second man nods, “Don’t worry. A year from now this whole thing will have been forgotten.”
The hours pass and pass. Throughout the city, throughout the night, men and women sit stunned, forsaken. Some weep in humiliation, some in loss, some in anger. We believed in Him, He let us down.
Cleopas paces the room. Suddenly, he sits and grabs a pen to write his thoughts: If only I could hear Him speak one more time, as before when my heart burned within me just to hear His words.
Peter walks to a lonely place. He falls on his face. He cries: “God forgive me! O God, forgive me. Would I had fought for Him and died with Him!” There is no answer. The sky is silent, the heavens brass.
A redeemed thief rejoices in Paradise.
Satan stands over the Body and wonders: “Why is there no decomposition? Where is the corruption?”
The angels prostrate themselves in worship, tremble in anticipation around the Throne.
The Father smiles. It is time. He speaks: “Now.”
This piece brings me to tears every time I read it! I love that you are able to take our imaginations inside some of the tender thoughts that some of the folks might have had.
It makes me take pause to question that in MY times of not fully understanding what God is doing in my life… or in the circumstances around me… do my silent thoughts REALLY trust that God is completely in control? … whether I fully understand it or not….
WE happen to know the rest of the story of His death and resurrection so we sometimes ‘innocently believe’ that His followers back then were strong enough in their faith NOT to have those doubts and whispers of “maybe I just misunderstood what I thought He said”.
We need to remember these people were just as human as we are…. just as fail-able and just as susceptible to doubts and fears as we are!
Praise the Lord for His resurrection!! Praise the Lord that WE were not left in charge of what tomorrow holds!! Praise the Lord that He is Sovereign and is in complete control of our yesterday, today and forever! … and that when He speaks “Now” it is in perfect timing!!