Alma Maters

THE WORST PARTS OF MR. PETTIT’S “BE A MAN” SERMON

On January 28, 2019, Mr. Steve Pettit, President of Bob Jones University, preached a sermon called “Be a Man,” in which he exhorted his listeners vaguely and with nearly no guidance as to particulars, to be kind of like the Marlboro man, but not really. Tough, but not so much. You know, Christlike, but without content. Here are the worst parts.

In India, men hold hands walking down the street. In Russia, men kiss each other on the lips. Here we don’t do that—even with Dr. Horn–because it’s gay. Don’t walk, talk, act, or dress like a woman. Don’t let anyone confuse you with a woman. Cut your hair, son.

He could have stopped with those tidbits. But he preached a whole sermon. I have the transcript, and I wrote a full treatment of it, but it’s too long, so I’m editing it down to The Ten Worst Things He Said. (Edit: Thirteen worst. There were thirteen worst things.)

1. Manhood is comprised of what man is and what he should do.

This is not true. Manhood is a state of being. “What he should do” is not encompassed in what he is. Manhood, according to Mr. Pettit, lies in whether he has a “male part” or a “female part.” (College students are too young to hear the word “wee-wee.”)

2. Spirituality is the highest aspect of manhood. Nothing else about creation can commune with God like man can.

This is false. Women also commune with God, as do little boys and little girls. It is no use his saying, “of course I’m speaking of humans generically,” because he isn’t. He’s speaking specifically about men in this sermon, so we understand that in the absence of qualifying the word as generic, he means the word man to indicate male humans.

3. Sin affected our spirituality and marred the image of biblical manhood as God intended it to be.

This is no one’s interpretation of Genesis 1. Rather, it is the Image of God—that is in view, and this Imago Dei applies equally to men and women.

4. Jesus came so we can be transformed into the Image of Perfect Manhood.

This is false. Jesus came to atone for the sins of humanity (or “his people” if you’re a Calvinist) and to preach the Kingdom of Heaven. I have been alive for 58 years, in church for long decades (mostly fundy churches) and “the image of perfect manhood” is a thing I have never heard.

5. Men and Women are differentiated at birth by whether they have a male part or a female part.

Leaving aside the silliness of his terminology, this is not always the case. Though a small minority, there are people for whom this is not true, wholly beloved children of God, their ambiguous genitalia notwithstanding. My husband, who has been a NICU nurse for over twenty years, has been in the delivery room a number of times when neither “It’s a boy!” nor “It’s a girl!” could be said. Where parents were told, “We can’t tell yet. We’ll have to do more testing.” In some cases, it has happened that even testing proved inconclusive as to biological gender. Mr. Pettit is either cruel or thoughtless in being dismissive of those few people among his listeners who are among the intersex community.

6. Men and women should maintain proper gender distinctions so that there is no confusion of the sexes.

Excuse me? In my 58 years (did I mention I’m 58?), there have been only a very few times when I have encountered someone whose presented gender was so ambiguous (to me) that I could not conclude whether they were presenting male or female, if either. Not everyone chooses to present gendered. I use the terms I use to make sure you are aware that the person you are encountering is the boss of how they present themselves in a particular context. Their genitalia is of no concern to you unless you are considering a more intimate relationship. That is, gender confusion is an individual concern. Whether you are confused about someone else’s gender is your problem. Step back, sir.

7. Man is the lord of the Creation.

The Dominion Mandate of Genesis 1 was given to both Adam and Eve. It is not gendered.

8. (Delivered in a raised voice) All men are to be leaders. If you don’t feel like it, you don’t understand what it is to be a leader or you need to be a man. To reject leadership is to reject manhood. Men are charged to be in charge.

This is false. Jesus calls his followers to follow. To be servants. Nor does Mr. Pettit explain what all this leading is about. He mentions no specifics. He gives no guidance. “Cultivating relationship” is a non-gendered activity. “Producing results” is a non-gendered goal. There is nothing he mentions that is specific to men, let alone godly Christian men.

Furthermore: Not all men are leaders. It’s okay, gentlemen, if you are a quiet non-leader. Jesus doesn’t care. If you never give a sermon. If you never give your testimony. If you decide, along with your housemates or partner or wife to split up the income earning responsibilities or child-rearing or homeschooling or budgeting, it doesn’t matter. You do you. Jesus doesn’t care. Jesus does not put these burdens on us: How manly is manly enough? He doesn’t address it. He doesn’t care.

9. Biblical masculinity is not for the immature children, but only for grown men.

Haha, no. If there is a thing called biblical masculinity, it would be for all male people, not just the adult ones. Otherwise, you would not tell your son, “Don’t run like a girl. Cut your hair.” If you do not believe this, put your infant son in a flowered, pink onesie next time you take him to church nursery.

10. Christ is the goal of all true masculinity. Jesus is the perfect man, and in him and through him we can have the grace to be like him.

No. Jesus is the role model for all his followers, girls and boys, women and men. There are zero examples of Jesus doing anything specific to his maleness that women and girls cannot emulate in being like him. There is no differentiation by gender when looking at Jesus.

11. Manhood is a calling from God to be like Jesus.

No—and more stridently—no. Because you have a penis, God wants you to be like Jesus? Come on, now. The calling from God to be like Jesus is for all of us without respect to “parts.”

12. Manhood is a calling where he has opened up the way for us to follow in his steps.

No. Following in the steps of Jesus is not gendered. It is not gender-specific. It is not distinctly male. Your manliness is distinct from your faith. You are not more manly or more correctly-male if you are particularly devout. The flip-side is also true. If you are more traditionally masculine than other men, you are not somehow more a man of faith than others by virtue of that gender presentation. These two aspects of your life are distinct.

13. Manhood does not come naturally, and it does not come easily.

Oh, come now. Do you have a male part or don’t you?

There is so much here. So much to unpack. So much conflict. So much burden of not being able to perform in public what one has been taught is the correct amount of manliness. Manhood is a state of being. It is not a performance. Or is it?

Mr. Pettit missed an opportunity to exhort the men in his audience to respect a woman’s sexual and emotional boundaries, to stand in solidarity with the abused and oppressed, to speak truth, to give to the poor. To reject racism, rape-culture, misogyny, child abuse, and domestic violence within the church and the wider community. He missed an opportunity to exhort single men to study hard and get ready for their vocation. He missed an opportunity to tell fathers to play ball with their children and teach them about Jesus and love their mother and visit their grandma and invite in the unloved, the marginalized, the different. He missed an opportunity to talk about missions and Gospel and living for the good of others—giving money and time to good causes that help people. He focused on vague ideas of Christlikeness that apply to both men and women and then yelled at men who don’t see themselves in leadership roles. Let’s face it, a lot of men in leadership roles shouldn’t be there. He could have prayed more than “help us be more loving, gracious, good, strong, brave, and courageous”—traits that apply to both men and women.

But he didn’t say any of that, most of which would apply to any man regardless of faith. Just don’t walk like a girl. Don’t talk like a girl. Don’t act like a girl. Cut your hair. I wonder what he’s thinking exactly. And I wonder why they are always thinking about that.

No, of course I don’t have to do this sort of thing, but Brian said, “Write it up,” and what could I do? I’m all submissive to my lord and master.

OPEN LETTER TO Bob Jones University’s LGBTQ+ STUDENTS ON THE OCCASION OF THE CONFERENCE ON GENDER AND SEXUALITY

You are not alone.

Yes, I’m talking to you. Hiding in your dorm. Lurking over at Starbucks. I see you in all your beautiful gayness, queerness, transness, or whateverness that makes you the wonderful person you are. I know you’re wondering if you can be gay and still love Jesus. You can. A great cloud of believing gay witnesses cheers you on, especially next week as you walk around the Bob Jones University campus during the “Sex, Gender and the Church” conference, wondering whether your L or G or B or T or Q or I is obvious to everyone and whether you’ll fall apart at the seams if you have to go through much more of this.

You are not alone this week when the arrows of Scripture and Culture have been sharpened and aimed at you. You’re right. You’re standing there, and they are aiming, but you are not alone. We are here. We stand with you.

We want you to know that when you were formed in your mother’s womb, you were gay. You have always been gay or bi or trans or a- or whatever you are that makes you you, try as you might to change your orientation to straight or your gender identity to your assigned birth gender. You may have tried over and over to fix yourself. You couldn’t. Not because you’re weak or sinful, but because you aren’t broken. There’s nothing to fix.

As a Fundamentalist, you might not be aware that there are helpful books by LGBT Christians that will help you in your growth toward wholeness and authenticity. When you are safe and have time, read this book and this book and this book by Christians about gayness. Read and realize that you’re not the first person to walk this path. Others have come before you. You are not alone.

The truth is there are a lot of gay people in the BJU world. Students, faculty, staff, alumni. It’s no secret, for example, that a number of BJU administrators have gay children. Tweak the settings on your gaydar and look around. You’re not stupid. You’re not blind. And you’re not alone.

But wait, you say, those people my gaydar has homed in on aren’t Actually Gay. They are “struggling” with same-sex attraction. That’s called being gay. If you’re a girl and you are same-sex attracted to other girls, you’re gay. If you’re a boy and you get the hots for your roomie, you’re gay. If you’re also interested in “Opposite Marriage” (otherwise known as “Traditional,” though it’s far from traditional if you get right down to it, historically speaking), you may be bisexual. Bisexuality is a thing, lots of people go there, and you might be one of them.

I wasn’t always an affirming ally. In my time, I’ve done a lot of “Gay People Are Rebelling Against God” and “You’re Not Really Gay, You’re Just Trying to Hurt Your Parents” and “Don’t Run Like a Girl,” and even, “You Can’t be Gay and Saved,” but the time came when I could no longer simply repeat what I’d been taught in Fundamentalism. I was a grown adult, a mother, a teacher, a lawyer, and I simply had to educate myself. I had to learn. I had to reach out to people who had walked this path. I found gay Christians and gay former Christians who were gracious enough to share their stories with me. I discovered BJUnity. I listened. I learned. I changed my mind. People in your life may eventually change too. Hope and pray for that while moving forward with your life.

It’s particularly hard now, because you’re a student or an employee of BJU, but the day may come when you realize that the people teaching you are, by and large, academically incestuous (BJU grads taught by BJU grads taught by BJU grads), and the people running the place are scraping the bottom of the ultraconservative barrel to find enough paying students to keep the lights on. Most Fundy colleges have closed up shop, and BJU’s enrollment has been in steady decline for many years. Conferences like the one you’re suffering through now, are efforts to market the school to whatever demographic is left that might think, “You’re right, I need to keep my kids away from gay people for four more years.” The problem this demographic faces is that today’s young people have opened their hearts to their gay friends, and because of this I’m confident you are among the very last gay people who need to hide their authentic selves. People are coming around.

Which is not to say that BJU as an entity will ever become affirming or even tolerant of gay people. Because of this, never EVER out yourself at BJU to anyone, but if you do, possibly because someone guilts you into “honesty” or “openness” or “accountability,” let it be a trusted friend, not ever a member of the Administration, who, although their own children, or their friend’s children are gay, will out you to your family, your home church, and then, in “love” and “Christian charity” expel you.

They’ll ship you, possibly days before final exams, possibly without any warning, leaving you with no credits, but all your student loan debt. On your way off campus, they’ll make sure you hear them when they call your orientation sin and abomination and corruption and perversion, but you are not broken. You are fine. You are who you are, and that is okay. Things are going to get better. You will not long be in an atmosphere that stifles your expression, others your identity and condemns your biology. You’re going to make decisions that are in your own best interest as a functioning adult in American society. BJU is a byway on your journey to adulthood and independence. It is not your destination. It is not your life’s template for godliness.

Don’t put yourself in a situation that leaves you without food- or housing-security. Living in the dorm and eating in the Dining Common are probably better than being outed to your family, shunned by your church, and crashing at a shelter. Closets are small and dark, but they can also be cozy and safe. It’s not wrong to be closeted. You don’t OWE other gay people your story or your honesty right now. Later you can go there. Later you can be loud and proud and no one will hurt you. (By the way, sit for a moment and ask yourself why you are at a college that frightens you into obedience with threats of expulsion. Just sit there. Just ask that.)

When someone at school asks you “Are you gay?” or “Do you struggle with same-sex attraction,” feel free to say, “Gurl, no way!” or “Of course not, Mr. Jones. Why do you ask?” It isn’t lying if you’re hiding Jews in the attic, and you, my friend, are fine and fabulous if you need to hide yourself in order to be safe.

Remember, these are people who will expel you from grown-up college if they think you are gay. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never even held hands with someone of the same gender. It doesn’t matter if you tell them, “Yes, I’m gay, but I’m committed to living a life of celibate abstinence for the glory of Jesus.” They will expel you for being gay. They will expel you for being gay. They will expel you for being gay. Am I clear?

Let them say otherwise. Let them say, “As long as our gay students follow the same rules our straight students follow—not to engage in pre-marital sexual contact—they are welcome here.”

They aren’t going to say that, are they? No, probably not. But be aware that the people who are making your life so difficult right now are not important people. If you’re a legacy student, you may have grown up hearing their names. You may have come to think they are Somebodies. But they aren’t. They are nobodies, just like the rest of us. They are employees at a small (and getting smaller by the year) increasingly irrelevant school you happened to stumble into for whatever reason. You can leave at any time. Get a job, get an apartment, and go to Greenville Tech. Or just go home. No one can keep you at BJU against your will. The people telling you to stay and to have sexual feelings you don’t have (but heavens! don’t act on those feelings!) are underpaid, overworked teachers and administrators who somehow acquired the entitled notion that it’s their right and duty to tell you that God can’t love you or save you if you finally—after years of praying and anguishing about it, and maybe even submitting to barbaric “treatments”—give in and say, “That’s it. I’m gay. I am so very very gay.” On the other hand (see above), don’t leave if it would put you in a position of being without food- or housing-security. Right now, that’s probably more important to you. Don’t put yourself in danger.

Until you can leave (when you graduate or sooner), know that you are not alone. BJUnity (see below for our contact info and mission statement) is here in compassion and outreach. We can help with counseling. We can put you in touch with those who have gone before you who now live authentically, joyfully as Christians (or not) in the big wide beautiful world. Your communication with us will be private, confidential. Unlike Jim Berg, who “wasn’t aware” that he should keep sexual abuse survivors’ information private, we are careful to do so. Your time at BJU is short. A few years at the longest. Be safe. Be closeted. Until you are ready. And then, my friend, BE YOU.

(And here’s a note to those of you who are reading this who aren’t gay, and who are struggling with whether you should affirm your gay kid: Affirm them. Love them. Reach out to BJUnity–read the testimonies there. Consider. Think. Jesus is not going to send you to hell for reading. The ground will not open up under you for taking a long, considered look at the books mentioned above. Take a breath. Open your heart.)

If you need us, we’re here.

Web site: BJUnity.org
Email: unity@bjunity.org
Phone: (864) 735-7598
Mailing Address: 4768 Broadway, No. 911 · New York, NY · 10034

BJUnity provides a safe harbor—a network of people and resources—for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex and straight affirming people affected by fundamentalist Christianity.

BJUnity affirms and empowers lgbt+ people from Bob Jones University and other Independent Fundamental Baptist organizations.

BJUnity confronts homophobia and transphobia in compassion, dignity and love, with the objective to promote dialogue and change.

Fundamentalist and Affirming: Your Guide to Loving LGBT People

Of course you can.

Of course you can be a Christian Fundamentalist and still affirm the LGBT people in your life–your friends, your relatives, your neighbors, your co-workers and yes, your fellow worshipers.

By “affirm,” I don’t mean “tolerate.” I don’t mean standing at a distance and attempting a sad sort of alternative wave that could be mistaken for your flicking a stray lock of hair out of your face. I mean walking up, shaking hands, and saying loudly enough for others to hear, “Hey, Mike, how’re you doing? And how’s Roger?” I mean not being embarrassed. I mean putting yourself out there as someone who loves the underdog, the minority, the “other” in the way Jesus told us to: as you love yourself.

The reason you don’t currently do this is simple. The voices telling you to be unaffirming are louder than the voices begging you to affirm. Pretty much the loudest anti-affirming voice is that of your pastor who has likely been rather insistent that your affirmation of your neighbor’s existence, relationship, marriage, and adoptions is somehow to participate in these activities, and that such participation will land you in hell.

Do you get how silly that is? Let’s say my neighbor is Sikh. Am I participating in his Sikhism by not railing against it every time I see him, not asking pointed, invasive questions about his turban, not stealth-witnessing (with candy!) to his little Sikhlings when I catch them minding their own business playing at the neighborhood park? Am I participating in my other neighbor’s paganism by buying essential oils from her? I’m just saying. Being nice to people is not participating in their lifestyle. You do not become gay by being nice to gay people. Rest easy, none of this is your fault, if fault there is, which there isn’t, but just to let you breathe a little easier.

Another reason you don’t currently affirm your niece’s marriage to her wife is that you are simply embarrassed by it. You don’t want to be called a gay-lover. Sit with that and ask yourself, “Why not?” Why would you not want to be known as someone who loves and affirms people who are in the minority? See two paragraphs above for the answer: you don’t want to hear from your pastor that you are going to hell, because somehow, a Christian pastor is going to tell a Christian believer (perhaps even a tither!) that affirming her son’s marriage to her son-in-law–an affirmation that will bring her close to her son and allow her more interaction with the grandchildren who may enter this home–that she is going to hell for her kindness.

It is time, my friend, that you exercise a little strength with your pastor and perhaps others at your Fundy church. Not by leaving, if you enjoy the church and are happy there, but by simple verbal clarity. “This is my son Mike. This is his husband Roger. Roger is a forensic odontologist.” When confronted later, as you surely will be, it is enough to hold up your hand to stop the speaker and say, “I have determined to love my son with kindness,” followed by, “And how is Calliope’s eating disorder?” You know by now how to converse with your friends in such a manner that you come out on top socially.

What’s needed is out loud affirmation. Not outing someone. That’s different. It is never your business to out someone who is closeted. But when the person opens the door and steps out into the light of day, having decided no longer to deny who she is and whom she loves, then you do the out loud affirmation: “This is my daughter Jayne and her partner Bea. They are graduate students. We’re very proud of them. Bea, tell the Morrisons about your dissertation topic.” The Morrisons can and will talk about this later, possibly with smelling salts. Whatever. You don’t care. You care about Jayne and Bea.

WON’T THEY THINK I NO LONGER THINK HOMOSEXUALITY IS THE WORST SIN IMAGINABLE?

I know. I know. There, there. It’s okay. I’m patting your back now, if you can’t tell. It’s true that some people, when you affirm your nephew’s husband and their three adorable children as a real family who can sit with you in church or sit by you at the family picnic, will gasp in horror and believe down to their marrow that you have “sold out” and have climbed the steps of the slippery slope ladder and are ready to don a boa yourself. You are going to have to take this. You can calm yourself by realizing that there are a lot of bad things in the world–African famine, ISIS, the opioid epidemic, and North Korean nukes–and that Joe and Johnny and the three little J’s (Jaye, Johnzy, and Jax) are just a normal American family.

WHAT ABOUT THE CLOBBER PASSAGES?

The “Clobber Passages” are those very few sections of Scripture that can be read in a way that might indicate homosexuality is sinful. But, as you very well know, you Fundamentalist you, lots of passages can be read to make all sorts of things sinful. For example, Ma’am, do you keep a menstrual chart with the days marked off so your husband knows which two weeks out of the month he may not approach you to lie with you? You do not, Mr. Gothard’s insistence notwithstanding.

The “Clobber Passages” are those about which I get books in the mail when I write an article like this. People imagine I haven’t read the Bible, or, having read it, have specifically ignored those passages. What’s being ignored, however, is that there may be unexamined context. I’m not going to exegete anything here, but I will say, as an example, that when the Apostle Paul notes that it is wrong to visit the ritual prostitutes at the pagan temple once one has professed Christ, I would agree with him. Indeed, were I to find that my own husband was frequenting ritual prostitutes at pagan temples, I would take issue with it, and you can hold me to that.

WHAT ABOUT THE PART WHERE MY PASTOR GETS TO TELL ME WHAT TO BELIEVE ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY?

What about it? Why is he even talking about it? And why so often, and why in front of minor children? Why is the Christian church so obsessed with this topic? Why are they not, for example, working to positively impact their local communities? Who even decided that a young man gets to tell you what to believe about anything? Have you not been taught about the priesthood of all believers? Do you not read the Bible? Have you not read, “Love your neighbor as yourself”? Have you not read, “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples–that you love one another”? The poor man is just saying what others have said to him, but maybe someday someone should mention to him: “Yo, Pastor Jared! Do you realize you’ve preached on the fictional Gay Agenda twelve times this year and only three times on how we can impact our neighborhood for Jesus? Dude! What is even up with that?”

BUT SHOULDN’T I WITNESS TO THEM?

If you want to talk to the LGBT people in your life about spiritual things, of course, certainly do that, but don’t do it based on what you believe is their failing. And don’t try to tweak their Christianity, if any. What I mean is this: if you start your finely-honed witnessing tactics with the old, “If you died tonight, do you know for sure you would go to heaven?” and the person answers, “Why yes, I do! I’m a born-again believer in Jesus Christ who died for my sins and is my risen Savior, sitting at the right hand of God, interceding for me!” then your work here is done and you can say, “Praise Jesus,” and grab the coffee-cake. No need to push further by (for example) asking “but WHICH Jesus are you trusting, the lame one who lets sodomites like you off the hook without obedience, or the strict Old Testament Jesus in whom I trust but actually I still go 70 on the freeway because some sins are not as bad as others, especially in Texas.” Don’t press onward into that well-rutted road of Lordship Salvation and/or Easy Believism. Just don’t. Have your coffee and ask about Jaye, Johnzy, and Jax and their potty-training, science project, and first crush, respectively. Also Johnny and his CPA business, especially if it’s near tax time. In fact, if it’s March or early April, wrap up the coffee cake and send it home. Johnny’s going to need it later.

WAIT, I THINK YOU’RE MAKING FUN OF ME

Ya think? Okay, I’m busted. Because, yes, I am. Fundamentalism was about “whatever the Bible says is so.” We’ve got the word of the Chief Hoo-Ha himself, Bob Jones, Sr., on that: “Whatever the Bible says is so.” In his inimitably simple style, he lays it out and even says, “We might disagree on what the Bible means, but we agree that whatever it says is so.”

It’s so that Jesus wants us to love each other.
It’s so that Jesus wants us to be kind to one another.
It’s so that people who confess with their mouths the Lord Jesus and believe in their hearts that God has raised him from the dead can be called Christians.

It’s your job to affirm the LGBTQIA people in your world, especially as to those who are in your church and your family.

WHAT ABOUT TOUGH LOVE?

Stop it already. On this issue of sexuality, you need to stop.
Stop asking your minor child if he masturbates. What is the matter with you? Are you crazy?

Stop telling your adult child anything about sexuality and how he or she should conduct his or her sexual life. It is not your business.

ATTEND your gay child’s wedding. Bring a lovely gift. Hug everyone. You are not going to hell for this. You are going to a party.

WHAT IF I REALIZE THAT I’VE BEEN HORRIBLE AND JUDGMENTAL TO MY GAY RELATIVE?

I know (more pat on the back). You’ve been horrible. You’ve gone after her with Romans 1 and I Corinthians, all the while ignoring true problems like the increased desertification of Africa and the annexation of the Crimea by Vlad the Invader. You’ve made your son cry. You’ve made his husband cry. It’s partly not your fault. You were misled by well-meaning people who told you it was your duty in the Lord to be cruel. That somehow, when you yelled, “Get outta my house, you faggot!” It would translate in your son’s mind to, “I love you so much it hurts, oh my god, I’m going to die because of this, I love him so much, Martha, help me.”

You might even be one of those awful people who has prayed over your child thusly: “God, whatever it takes for Mike to turn from this lifestyle . . . ” when what you mean is you’d like Roger the forensic odontologist to drill a hole through his own eye in a fit of remorse, or even that you’d like Mike himself to be hit by a car, as if God Above runs into people with vehicles to get their attention. Didn’t we learn in kindergarten Sunday school that God speaks through His Word and not necessarily via the neighborhood Mercedes Benz?

Indeed, why is it that people who pray that God will use “whatever it takes” never stumble onto the thought that the loss of a parent might be just the thing to get a child wondering about the hereafter? No one ever prays, “Lord, kill me if that’s what it would take.” No, it’s more like, “Lord, and could you rearrange Mike’s sexuality fast because Robert and I are going to renew our vows this August, and it would be so great if all the kids could be there? I’ve planned the loveliest luau, Lord. There will be roast pig if it’s Your will!”

You’ve been awful, okay. Here’s how to fix it. Say sorry. Call or go over there with a pan of brownies and say sorry. If your own spouse doesn’t want to go with you, who cares? Tell him or her, “I’m going to Mike and Roger’s to say sorry. I want them in my life. Are you coming or not?” And then just go. There’s no need to have a long conversation with anyone about this anymore than you would if you wanted to say sorry for anything else. You’ve been horrible. Go say sorry. If he gets all huffy and throws a fit over it, remind him about the upcoming luau. Does he want the roast pig or doesn’t he? Then go see the boys, share the brownies with them. And then never ever again be unaffirming.

COURAGE

No, I’m not courageous. Forging ahead when you have something to lose, or when the power you are speaking truth to can hurt you, is courageous. Speaking truth to power when the power can’t hurt you isn’t courage. It’s just talking. Talking is valuable, but it is not, of itself, courageous.

Others are courageous. Others are speaking out when family relationships may shatter, when their stories may cause humiliation to themselves, to those they love. Others are speaking out when they may be shouted down, called liars, ridiculed, shunned. Others are speaking out when they may be fired, left with nothing, forced to move. Others are speaking out when they live right there, must interact with the principals, must rub shoulders with the hurting, the wounded, the perpetrators, the uncaring. Others are speaking out when they must pick up the slack, pay the bills, promise again where promises have been broken, discounted, disappeared.

Others are courageous. I’m just typing.

Here’s something else that requires no courage, and I hope many of you will do this:

It does not require courage to pick up a telephone, dial 864-242-5100, and say, “The firing of Dr. Bill McCauley was the wrong move. Please rescind it.” It does not require courage to open your computer, go to bju.edu, click on the little “Contact Us” envelope at the bottom of the home page and write a little note to Dr. Stephen Jones or Dr. Bob Jones III or Darren Lawson or Ed Dunbar or whoever you want to talk to and say, “You know what, firing Dr. McCauley was not right. Please reinstate him,” and sign your name. There is no courage required for this, only fingers.

It might also be a good idea to follow up your call or email with a real letter on a real piece of paper with a real stamp and really mail it to 1700 Wade Hampton Boulevard, Greenville, SC 29614, since I understand the computer people go through the mail (this may not be true, but I’ve heard such a rumor) and don’t deliver what they don’t want to deliver.

Banish those silly sounds in the back of your head that say, “Who am I?” and “They won’t listen to me,” and “I shouldn’t get involved” or “That would be ganging up.” It’s not ganging up. It’s talking. It’s just talking.

Do not be afraid to do the right thing. Do it for Dr. McCauley. And, if there is someone else you know of who was forced to retire, do it for him. Do it for her.

DEAR DR. BOB: an open letter to Bob Jones III and the Board of BJU

Matthew 18 requires a Christian who has been offended by a brother to go to that brother to see whether things can be made right without escalation of the issue to “two or three” and then “to the church.” This is not that. Rather, this might be something I would drop into the Suggestion Box were I in Greenville. It is a signed list of suggestions, along with the reasons for those suggestions from a longtime loyal alumna, former staff member at BJU Press, and author of 11 books, all still in print with Journeyforth, an imprint of BJU Press.

May 1, 2013
sharonhambrick@hotmail.com
Rancho Cordova, California

Dear Dr. Bob,

I recently wrote a post on my blog about things I’d like to see changed at BJU. Today, my husband encouraged me to send it to you personally. However, because I included bits of humor and irony in that post in order to spark conversation, I felt that the post as it is would not be appropriate to send to you. Because of that, I have taken out the humor, distilled some points, removed others, and added some, so that this letter will reflect my thoughts without the funny bits that, it must be admitted, were simply an attempt to mask my fear of speaking plainly.

To introduce myself to you, this is what might be in my file at BJU: In 1980 or 1981, I turned in my roommate for wearing pants off campus. In 1990, I contacted you for advice because I had been fired from a Christian school for telling students Santa Claus is a myth. In 1993, I came to you with the scary news that I had received a positive HIV test after attempting to give blood for a fellow BJUP employee. (The test was later found to be in error.) In 2009 or 2010, Beneth poured ice-water for me at the Perrys’ home here in my neighborhood. I have written 11 books (all still in print) for Journeyforth. You have always been kind to me.

Dr. Bob, there is a rumbling among some alumni, and it is a rumbling of fear. We are afraid that our friends who have 30 or more years of service invested in the University will be fired without a pension and without benefits, as Dr. McCauley was. If you and Stephen were powerless to help Dr. McCauley, you will be just as powerless to help our friends who are less visible than Dr. McCauley is.

We are afraid that the Board will, at any moment, decide that the purpose of the School can no longer be fulfilled and will shut the whole place down (as the Charter provides), distributing funds to a select few—including most importantly your immediate family—without regard for the thousands of students and faculty and staff who would be left high and dry.

We are afraid that, because of dwindling enrollment and a shrinking demographic and the availability in other places of more modern music, water parks, and what not, our Alma Mater will not be available to future students. Our own children and grandchildren will not even have the choice to experience the distinctives BJU offers because, due to Board action mentioned above, it will not exist.

Should the Board really have the power to sell to the highest bidder a Campus dedicated to Christ and purchased with the sacrificial giving and life’s work of thousands of loyal alumni, faculty, staff, and students simply because it doesn’t care for reasonable modernization?

Should not the Board, rather, repent of its collective heels-dug-in stance against, say, modernizing the music, in hopes of recruiting a new generation of Christian young people committed to Jesus Christ and His Gospel of saving grace? Indeed, does not a refusal to budge on non-creedal issues indicate a desire to see BJU close and the proceeds distributed among those the Board chooses? This frightens me.

Because of these and other concerns, I wrote a list of changes I would like to see implemented. Edited and changed for reasons mentioned above, here are those things:

1. Change the name of the school. As sad as it is to hear, “Bob Jones University” has unhappy connotations, nor do many people have any idea who your Grandfather was. I recommend “South Carolina Christian College” or something similarly generic.

2. Bring in a new President from outside who has an earned doctorate from a regionally-accredited University. Tie his salary to enrollment. We feel very sorry that Stephen has been so ill for so long, but at this point the School needs someone who can vigorously preach, vigorously promote, vigorously recruit, and vigorously move the School forward. Even a pro tempore President might work, if one had the magnetic personality and outgoing nature of, say, Mike Buiter.

3. There is a widespread feeling that the Board is a group of old racists. In a spirit of disarming this belief, require all members of the Board to sign and then read aloud in chapel to be permanently posted on sermonaudio.com the following statement:

“I have never aligned myself with, nor prayed for the success of the Ku Klux Klan. I regret my racist past, if any, and pledge myself to furthering the mission of South Carolina Christian College by actively seeking out African-American, Asian-American, and Hispanic-American faculty and students.

“I regret the termination of aging faculty and pledge that this practice will no longer occur. I pledge to sell the art collection, back-campus housing, or other non-educational assets rather than to abandon those who have given their working lives to this school.

“I further pledge to speak out boldly against any past, present, or future corruption relating to the College—including sexual abuse or its cover-up—when I learn of it and without regard for my own or my colleagues’ personal interests.

“Furthermore, I will attempt to avoid speaking evil of the President of the United States during his or her term in office.

“So help me God.”

Retain no one on the Board who cannot enthusiastically sign this statement.

4. Enlist the help of Alumni volunteers of good-standing to check music submitted by students so that new songs that meet reasonable objective guidelines as to beat, lyric, general tone, and genre can be listened to and even purchased in the Bookstore.

5. Occasionally introduce in chapel a new worship song that meets the reasonable objective guidelines mentioned above. “New” may mean songs that are decades old, such as “We Will Glorify the King of Kings” (copyright 1982) by Twila Paris, which is now in hymnbooks. The fact is that students and their parents know that there are many authentically worshipful, Bible-based, and non-rock songs among what is called Christian Contemporary Music.

6. Allow other checked worship songs in hall meetings, society meetings and outings, and other non-worship-service settings.

7. Encourage chapel speakers to speak more of Jesus and less of homosexuality, remembering that we speak about what we think about.

8. Encourage students who may be engaged in sexual sin or struggling with homosexual or heterosexual cravings or who may be pregnant or otherwise in moral difficulty to seek confidential help. History tells us that the Dean of Men’s and Dean of Women’s offices have not been safe havens for students with moral issues, but merely pit-stops on the way to being shipped home. A confidential counseling center could be established to help students work through issues—rather than being shipped for them.

9. Drop the word “Fundamentalist” for the simple reason that it connotes jihadism. Purposefully distance yourselves from this word. Coin a new word if a label is necessary and no existing word accurately describes us.

10. Hire one Black faculty member immediately. Add one more every year. Add an African-American to the Board without delay. Add another in a couple of years.

11. Commit yourselves to accepting the G.R.A.C.E. report with dignity, with repentance, and with grace, making the changes that will be obviously necessary once the report comes out. If you have not already done so, exhort any faculty, Board member, affiliated preacher, and so forth, to come clean before the report comes out, resigning from his ministries, seeking forgiveness from and offering restitution to those he has wounded, and even turning himself into law enforcement if appropriate.

12. Do what needs to be done to implement the Promise, especially as to those older former faculty already dismissed and living on Social Security. It is wrong to do wrong in order to get a chance to do right, and it is wrong to fire loyal, hard-working faculty in order to save money for whatever “right” reason.

13. We beg you to reinstate Dr. McCauley in some capacity for the next two years so that he can retire with full benefits.

14. Give Mr. Peterman his diploma. Expelling anyone (no matter what the infraction, less than a serious felony, perhaps) within 9 days of graduation is unconscionable.

15. Create and publish an “exit strategy” that will calm fears, indicating that, in the sad event the School closes, all current faculty and staff and all retired faculty and staff will receive a portion of the proceeds of the School’s sale in some proportion relating to their years of service, before the remainder of the money is distributed to other Gospel endeavors, the M & G, or the Jones family.

16. Apologize for saying homosexuality would be stopped were all gays to be stoned. Although this statement was made decades ago, it continues to wound.

Sincerely, and in the hope that our School will continue to exist to glorify Jesus for the next eighty-six years,

Sharon Hambrick (MA, 1981)
Brian Hambrick (BSN, 1997)

P.S. From Brian: I fully support Sharon’s statement here and asked her to send it. Both Sharon and I continue to be thankful for our BJU educations, and for Journeyforth’s publishing of Sharon’s books. My nursing degree has allowed me to support my family well in the sixteen years since I graduated (at the ripe old age of 39!). Sadly, at this time, we feel it is impossible to look at BJU as a future place for our children’s education, but we hope that will change as appropriate changes come to BJU. We are committed to doing our part, if there is anything we can do to further reasonable, appropriate change.

A THOUGHT ON BJU, HOPE, AND CHANGE

I’ve been a loyal alumna since 1981, done my bit of defending my school, stuck up for Dr. Bob (even Junior, in all his nonsense and rudeness: “So’s your little boy!”), and generally kept my head stuck as far down into the sand as was practical with a figure like mine. I’ve avoided the noise, excused the things I couldn’t avoid, blamed Mr. Peterman and thought bad thoughts about Dr. Lewis, even to composing a little song (you might know the tune if you’re carnal):

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, Camille-eons
Let Bob alone, Let Bob alooooone.

I wore black on red-balloon day, even though I rarely leave my house and live all the way out in California and I actually know gay people personally and have twice attended birthday parties for children who have two daddies. I toed the line.

After all, a girl—even someone as socially inert as I am—has friends, and I have some at BJU. Good friends with whom I laugh and cry. We pray for each other and each other’s marriages and children. We talk. We struggle. We mourn each other’s losses and cheer each other’s successes. We encourage and preach at each other. We hug across the miles. Some of them have been at BJU for decades. As my heart has been.

But then Joseph Bartosch happened, and my personal struggles with BJU and BJUP (that I’d blamed on myself—my inability to cope, my inappropriate expectations—You want us to sell your books? Wassamattayou? Didn’t you know writing books is your HOBBY?) popped out into the open without so much as a howdy-do. After decades of I’m-a-nice-alumna, I was suddenly slightly disaffected, sorta disgruntled, and a little bit mad. As days passed, the slightly-sorta-little bit part grew, and here we are.

You can read all about Dr. Bartosch in other places. You can read all about Tina Anderson and Matt Olsen and Chuck Phelps in other places. You can read all about Mr. Peterman’s being shipped nine days before graduation in other places. You can see the nonsense about Dr. Senior and the KKK, Dr. Junior and the paintings procured from Naziland, Dr. Third and the charming idea of “consensual rape”, and Dr. Stephen’s “PhD in Liberal Studies”—in other places. In other places you can read about Dr. Wood’s scandalous idea that a woman’s body is like a disposable diaper—someone defiles it, who cares, it’s just the throw-away part, Mr. Miller’s obsession with young men’s masturbation habits, Dr. Berg’s family-friendly advice to molestation victims not to call the police because their mothers will be angry with them if daddy gets sent to prison, and Dr. Mazak’s characterization of PTSD as sin. Vertigo is probably a sin too—brought on by the unbalancing realization that your degree is wobbly and that a school in China won’t make anything all better even if they hang your picture next to Chairman Mao’s and bow to it every morning.

In other places you can read about Dr. McCauley’s firing. (Pause for moment of stunned silence.) About which Stephen (PhD) (Liberal Studies), the University President, feels “helpless.” I wonder what Dr. McCauley (earned doctorate), beloved voice teacher and sometime Bottom-the-Ass, feels?

Other people are taking care of those things. What I want to talk about, in all my anger about these things that has bubbled over onto the surface of my life, is what I’d like to see changed.

For the record, I’m nobody. I have no voice, no audience, and a tiny blog following. I am in leadership nowhere. I church hop as it pleases me. I am in law school, but I am not a lawyer and may never be one (There’s the little matter of the California Bar Exam and the Moral Character Investigation—what will they think when they see I graduated from the Hallowed Halls?).

Still, I have thought about this for a long time, so here are a few things I would like to see happen While There is Yet Time, because if what I’ve heard about Freshman enrollment is true, There Isn’t Much.

1. Change the name of the school immediately to South Carolina Christian College, unless you have at least ten substantial reasons to keep the word “University.” No one should go to a school named Bob.

2. Bring in a new President from outside. An earned doctorate from a well-known university or seminary is required. He or she must agree to take no salary unless and until enrollment begins to rise. At that time, the salary will kick in at an agreed-upon rate until reaching a reasonable level for a similarly-situated ministry. Naturally, health benefits and other perks will begin on Day One. (What is done with Stephen, I do not care. He can go on disability if he can’t work, which is what other people with PhDs in Liberal Studies probably do.)

3. Require the Board of Directors and the Board of Trustees to sign and then read aloud in chapel to be permanently posted on sermonaudio.com the following statement:

“Furthermore, I regret the termination of aging faculty and pledge that this practice will no longer occur. I pledge to sell the art collection, back-campus housing, or other non-educational assets rather than to abandon those who have given their working lives to this school.

“I further pledge to speak out boldly against any past, present, or future corruption relating to the College—including sexual abuse or its cover-up—when I learn of it and without regard for my own or my colleagues’ personal interests.

“Furthermore, as much as it lies in me, I will attempt to avoid speaking evil of the President of the United States during his or her term in office, even if he or she is a Democrat, so help me God.”

Anyone who cannot sign and read aloud this statement into the record shall not be retained on the Board. No leeway shall be given to veterinarians whose sons work at the Statehouse.

4. Vespers shall be held twice a semester on Thursday evenings. Attendance at either of these will fulfill a student’s vespers requirement (if any) for the semester.

5. Non-mandatory praise-and-worship services, led by a “Northland Style” worship band will be available for students to attend in the Amphitorium one night per semester. Attendance will not be taken. Hands may be raised in praise to Jesus. Tears of joy permitted. Speaking in tongues remains an expulsion offense, so students fearing the moving of the Spirit should sit out of earshot of others. Overflow seating in Rodeheaver with video link. Chaperones to be brought in from North Hills if there are insufficient faculty willing to attend.

6. Speaking of Jesus, it will be mandatory for Chapel Speakers to use His Name at least as often as the words homosexuality, bestiality, and pedophilia are used. A chart will be compiled by visiting Alumni Overseers.

7. Rants against homosexual students will end. Charts will be kept by the Alumni Overseers.

8. The Alumni Overseers will be a rotating body of volunteer alumni not currently employed by South Carolina Christian College. They will be conspicuous by their attire or an identifying badge. In addition to their keeping charts on chapel messages, they will accept signed and anonymous messages from students on any topic whatever. They will not report to anyone. Students do take the risk, when passing messages to the AOs that memes might be made about them. However, all memes will be kept in good humor and without names. Urgent messages will be passed to appropriate law enforcement. Confidential messages regarding the following (and related) will be kept confidential and students will be steered to appropriate, loving resources:

a. “I might be gay.”
b. “I might be pregnant.”

8. In the interest of academic and political freedom, a Young Democrats club will be formed for those who need an outlet for their rebellion as well as for the poli-curious and incoming minority students (see Board oath, above). No one will be penalized, snubbed, or shunned for joining or attending this club, which will meet on the First Tuesday after the First Monday of every month (because it just makes sense) in an easily-accessible campus room. (That is, not the Rupp Room.) Republican students who “crash” the meeting may not “report” anyone for making fun of Rush Limbaugh or Sarah Palin. (On other Tuesdays, the campus “Birther” club will meet in Lecture A. Kenyan coffee served by genuine Timothy-student Kikuyu.)

9. The following nonsense will end: characterization of Reformed thought as “unbiblical.” If possible, lure Dr. Michael P.V. Barrett back from parts unknown so that people will enjoy Bible class again and Sandra can be near her grandchildren. Ignore Dr. Barrett’s characterization of students as “idiots” in the interest of fascinating Reformed, if premillennial, teaching.

10. A serious effort to recruit black faculty will begin immediately. There are a number of doctorally-prepared black Reformed pastors around. Start with Dr. Reddit Andrews and move on from there.

11. Bring back dessert.

12. Acknowledge that pants are not a privilege, and front campus is not a place for figure-flattering hosiery choices.

12. Bring back Dr. McCauley. Apologize to Dr. McCauley. Promote Dr. McCauley to Chief Brand Officer, although it must be admitted that his wife is a bit young for him too.

13. Shut down the impractical and non-profitable extra “ministries.” Stop with the China School. Our enrollment is dwindling. Our demographic is shrinking. We need to expand our ministry by opening up the music and shutting down the hateful nonsense that mental illness is fake and rape victims who talk about it are psycho.

Sharon Hambrick
MA, Church History, 1981 (this degree is no longer offered, somewhat like a PhD in Liberal Studies)
BJUP, 1992-1997, Elementary Authors: Math, Heritage Studies, Bible.
Author of 11 children’s books with Journeyforth, including the Arby Jenkins series, The Year of Abi Crim, Adoniram Judson: God’s Man in Burma (also available in Korean), The Fig Street Kids Series (the Tommy Books), and Brain Games (a novel, not a puzzle book).